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RADIO DJ DAVID MUELLER SAYS HE NEVER TOUCHED TAYLOR SWIFT’S ASS, BASICALLY THAT SHE’S A LYING SACK OF SHIT

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Taylor Swift is in a heated lawsuit with former Denver radio DJ David Mueller. She says he grabbed her ass at a media event. He says she is a god damned fucking liar (well, basically, that’s what he says). They are both suing each other. He is suing because he says Taylor being a god damned fucking liar got him fired. She says she was the victim of sexual assault. When the smoking gun picture that Taylor submitted to the court in the case was leaked (as Taylor tried to hide it from the public), it seemed like a close call. Maybe, maybe not, more on the side of not. But given Taylor’s history, we felt comfortable saying she was a god damned fucking liar. David was quiet. But now he’s speaking out. While on 955 Detroit’s “Mojo in the Morning,” David said:

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“What I was told that night and what I was told that day were different, but what I’m hearing now is that I stuck my hand under her skirt and grabbed her bare bottom. My right hand — I’m looking at the photographer and I’m trying to get my right hand, you know, behind Taylor, because [another DJ] was on the other side of Taylor. My other hand I think was just on my belt or on my pocket, my left hand. So my right hand, I’ve got my hand closed and my palm down, and I reach behind, toward Taylor. Our hands touched and our arms crossed. That’s all I remember. My hand was not touching her body … My hand was never under her skirt. I never grabbed her. My hand was not open.”


Taylor Swift had previously given this account

“Right as the moment came for us to pose for the photo, he took his hand and put it up my dress and grabbed onto my ass cheek, and no matter how much I scooted over it was still there. It was completely intentional, I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”


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CELEBJIHAD IS GOING UP AGAINST TAYLOR SWIFT NOW

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When CelebJihad.com published real leaked nude pictures of Emma Watson, she put her lawyers on them and fucked CelebJihad.com so hard, they removed the pictures immediately and refused to even talk about them. We asked CelebJihad about the images, and were willing to fight the First Amendment fight against Emma Watson (as we did with Kate Upton and her lawyers), but CelebJihad was fucked so silly they wouldn’t say a word. The formula that seems to work for them is fake pictures, so it looks like they are sticking with it. This time, they targeted Taylor Swift. We aren’t sure if that’s a fight CelebJihad really wants either, but we’ll see if Taylor decides to pull an Emma Watson, strap on a big black dildo and lube up CelebJihad for a good ole anal pegging. Whatever happens, we must say they did do a good job with the fake Taylor Swift pictures.

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LEAKED TAYLOR SWIFT “SMOKING GUN” GROPING PICTURE DELIVERS LESS THAN PROMISED

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In case you hadn’t heard, Taylor Swift and former radio DJ David Mueller are fighting it out in court. He says Taylor lied when she claimed he groped her. She says she has proof, a picture that is the smoking gun. Taylor said the photo captured the moment of her sexual assault at the hands of David, claiming in her video deposition, “Right as the moment came for us to pose for the photo, he took his hand and put it up my dress and grabbed onto my ass cheek and no matter how much I scooted over, it was still there. It was completely intentional, I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.” She added in court papers, “I remember being frantic, distressed, feeling violated in a way I had never experienced before. A meet-and-greet is supposed to be a situation where you’re thanking people for coming. You’re supposed to be welcoming people into your home, which is the arena for that day, and for someone to violate that hospitality in that way, I was completely stunned.” Taylor fought hard to keep the public from seeing this horrific picture, where she was sexually assaulted, but TMZ released it. And, while we aren’t saying that it doesn’t show some funny business, maybe, it looks about as convincing as the O.J. Simpson gloves. That is to say, women will see a sexual assault (like white people say the gloves fit), and men will see a hand a bit too low (like black people agreed “it didn’t fit, so you must acquit”). No wonder Taylor didn’t want the picture to get out.

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MORE KANYE WEST AND TAYLOR SWIFT BEEF, AS DRAFT LYRICS LEAK

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Taylor Swift was plenty upset when Kanye West released his song “Famous,” saying, “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex, why, I made that bitch famous.” Now an older version of the song and lyrics, originally titled, “Nina Chop,” leaked online last week with more explicit Donald-Trump like lyrics about Taylor Swift (and Amber Rose). Kanye originally was planning to say, “I feel like Taylor Swift still owe me sex. I feel like Amber Rose still owe me sex, why? I made that bitch famous. Not really, but somewhat famous.” We don’t know how this is that much more offensive, but it got people talking for an afternoon before we saw the Donald Trump and Billy Bush video. Poor Billy Bush. Taylor hasn’t said anything about the new Kanye West slight, but there is sure to be some rebuke cause talking like that of course means you hate women, according to Hillary Clinton, Demi Lovato and Emma Watson. But we’re not waiting to here from Taylor. We want to hear from Amber. She has those booty-tingling #twitterfingers tweets. No word yet.

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KANYE WEST’S “FAMOUS” VIDEO WAX CELEBRITIES ON SALE

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Kanye West got under the panties of a few celebrities when he dropped his infamous “Famous” video, featuring a gaggle of nude celebrities in the bed with him, most notably Taylor Swift. Now, his “naked wax figures” are on display at a private exhibition at Blum & Poe in Los Angeles, and on sale. The figures depicted include Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Taylor Swift, Amber Rose, Ray J, Caitlyn Jenner, Donald Trump, George W. Bush, Anna Wintour, Chris Brown, Rihanna and Bill Cosby, and the gallery hopes to get as much as $4 million for the set. The figures actually feature moving chests that are meant to make them appear as though they are breathing. As for the price, it is on sale “for the right buyer,” Mr. Blum of Blume & Poe said. Add together the materials, labor and the name-value that Kanye West adds, the price may not be too outrageous. “I would project a figure about that,” Mr. Blum said. “To be honest, we did it for the sake of doing it,” Mr. Blum continued. “The show and project were not done with price or sale in mind. But I would act upon it as every other piece of art I handle.” For the $4 million price, you get all the figures, plus the bedspread and the batteries to animate them.

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KANYE WEST AND A BED FULL OF NAKED CELEBRITIES (UPDATED)

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Kanye West recently released the music video for “Famous,” where he infamously rapped, “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex. I made that bitch famous.” So the video had to be controversial as well. It was screened at the L.A. Forum where it was live streamed, and shows a bed full of celebrities sleeping naked with Kanye West. So far Kanye hasn’t claimed he made them all famous. The list of naked bed buddies with Kanye starts in the middle with him and Kim Kardashian, and a nude Taylor Swift on the side. Also in the bed are Rihanna, Anna Wintour, Donald Trump, Caitlyn Jenner, Bill Cosby, Amber Rose, Ray J, George Bush and Chris Brown. According to TMZ, Kanye claimed all the celebrities are the “real deal.” What that means isn’t clear, “real” CGI recreations, wax dolls or the actual celebrities themselves. But something “real.” Talking about his celebrity orgy, Kanye told Vanity Fair, “It’s not in support or anti any of [the people in the video]. It’s a comment on fame. We were very careful with shots that had [something] sexual to take them out.” The concept was inspired by an artwork entitled “Sleep” by American painter Vincent Desiderio.

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To anyone thinking of suing Kanye over the celebrity orgy, or his comments about it being the “real deal,” Kanye responded on Saturday, “Can somebody sue me already #I’llwait”. And the reactions have been pouring in. Chris Brown said, “”Why I gotta have the plumbers butt/crack showing WAX figure? This nigga KANYE CRAZY, talented, but crazy.” An aid for George Bush told Us Weekly, “That’s not him.” Both Anna Wintour and Caitlyn Jenner’s representatives had no comment. But Taylor Swift is rumored to be “furious,” according to Hollywood Life. “She knew he was unpredictable but didn’t think he would go so far. She’s strategising with her team as to what her next move should be. She’s weighing all her options and will then respond accordingly. Just writing a song dissing him isn’t enough payback for something like this.”



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KIM KARDASHIAN IS NUDE AND TOPLESS IN GQ, DEFENDING KANYE WEST AGAINST TAYLOR SWIFT

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Now this all makes sense. Kim Kardashian is appearing naked in GQ, putting her world famous tits and ass on display to gin up interest in her interview, in which she defends her husband Kanye West against Taylor Swift. You know the story, Kanya rapped in his new album, “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex,” on “Famous” from his album, The Life of Pablo. He added, “Why? I made that bitch famous,” causing a swift reaction from Taylor Swift fans. In his defense, Kanye said he “called Taylor and had a hour long convo with her about the line,” and she “thought it was funny.” Taylor denied it. “Kanye did not call for approval, but to ask Taylor to release his single ‘Famous’ on her Twitter account,” her representative said in a statement at the time. “She declined and cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message. Taylor was never made aware of the actual lyric, ‘I made that bitch famous.'”

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sKIMW1    Kim is standing by her man, however, and using her tits and ass to make sure you notice. We noticed. “She totally approved that,” Kim told GQ, with “annoyance,” according to the interview. “She totally knew that that was coming out. She wanted to all of a sudden act like she didn’t,” Kim said. “I swear, my husband gets so much shit for things [when] he really was doing proper protocol and even called to get it approved.” And Kim doubled down on the claim, saying “[Taylor] totally gave the okay. Rick Rubin was there, so many respected people in the music business heard that [conversation] and knew.”

   As to the claim that the bitch line was a “misogynistic message,” Kim said, “I mean, he’s called me a bitch in his songs. That’s just, like, what they say. I never once think, [gasping] ‘What a derogatory word! How dare he?’ Not in a million years. I don’t know why she just, you know, flipped all of a sudden… It was funny because [on the call with Kanye, Taylor] said, ‘When I get on the Grammy red carpet, all the media is going to think that I’m so against this, and I’ll just laugh and say, ‘The joke’s on you, guys. I was in on it the whole time.’ And I’m like, wait, but [in] your Grammy speech, you completely dissed my husband just to play the victim again.” We believe Kim, cause tits and ass.

But if you cared what Taylor’s representatives had to say in response, without pictures of Taylor’s tits and ass (so much less credibly), they said, “Taylor does not hold anything against Kim Kardashian as she recognizes the pressure Kim must be under and that she is only repeating what she has been told by Kanye West,” in a statement. “However, that does not change the fact that much of what Kim is saying is incorrect. Kanye West and Taylor only spoke once on the phone while she was on vacation with her family in January of 2016 and they have never spoken since. Taylor has never denied that conversation took place. It was on that phone call that Kanye West also asked her to release the song on her Twitter account, which she declined to do. Kanye West never told Taylor he was going to use the term ‘that bitch’ in referencing her. A song cannot be approved if it was never heard. Kanye West never played the song for Taylor Swift. Taylor heard it for the first time when everyone else did and was humiliated. Kim Kardashian’s claim that Taylor and her team were aware of being recorded is not true, and Taylor cannot understand why Kanye West, and now Kim Kardashian, will not just leave her alone.” No tits and no ass. So not believable at all…



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WHITE GIRL TAYLOR SWIFT RAPPING TO DRAKE’S JUMPMAN, LAME AT FIRST, BUT ENDS PERFECTLY WITH WHAT EVERYONE WANTS TO HAPPEN TO TAYLOR

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White girl rapping, no it’s not Iggy Azalea, she’s got enough problems. It’s Taylor Swift this time, rapping to Drake and Future’s “Jumpman.” We were all ready to hate and pass, until the best thing ever happens. When you can make fun of yourself, in an actually funny way, well, let’s say we’re warming up to Taylor Swift, even as we still hate her (for no particular reason).

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TAYLOR SWIFT’S GRAMMY GRANNY PANTY TRANNY LOOK

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We’ve never hidden our dislike for Taylor Swift. She’s basically the queen of the #whitegirlsmatter movement, which is a celebration of being white, blonde, privileged and somehow still a victim. She was at the Grammy’s with a granny panty dress, and a short bob cut, that distinctly leaned tranny. We clearly aren’t down with #teamTaylor, but if that floats your boat, let your boat float.

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RUBY ROSE NO LONGER SUPPORTS KANYE WEST, AND NO ONE CARES

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Kayne West has been fucking up recently. But he’s still Kanye West, let’s not kid ourselves, and we love him because of his huge ego, much like Donald Trump. The most recent faux Kanye West controversy is about a few lyrics he rapped about fucking Taylor Swift. In his his new album, The Life of Pablo, one of the songs, “Famous,” has this rather moderate (in the genre of rap) line, “For all my Southside niggas who will know me best, I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex, Why, I made that bitch famous, God damn, I made that bitch famous…” Now, whether he wants to fuck Taylor or not, it is a bit of an overestimate to say Kanye “made that bitch famous.” That bitch was pretty famous before Kanye jumped on stage with her, and that bitch has made her success on being a bitch with an incredible vocal range and sound. So, whatever you may think of that bitch, that line was a bit much, Kanye. That said, it really wasn’t that egregious, misogynistic or sexist. But bitches do sometimes get mad about being called bitches. One bitch that got upset was Ruby Rose, who is basically known for eating Taylor Schilling’s pussy on one season of “Orange is the New Black,” which apparently makes you an authority on all things. She said, “Too many lines crossed. If I put myself in the shoes of the women he has hurt recently. Victims of Bill Cosby, The Slut shaming, Amber…” and “And now my dear friend Taylor.. Right before another huge moment for her.. Can I still support him and call myself a feminist? A friend? No.” Last we heard, Kanye was weeping over the loss… We’re not supporting Kanye West, we just think everyone needs to relax a bit, cause there are really bigger problems in the world.

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TAYLOR SWIFT’S FIRST POSTIVE CONTRIBUTION TO THE WORLD

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We rarely have anything positive to say about Taylor Swift. And for a super hot female celebrity of her caliber to fall completely outside of our radar like all the time, is exceptional. That’s part of the reason why we don’t like Taylor Swift, it’s the faux good girl image that she projects that we find so fake and so irritating, to the point of being offensive. We can’t wait for a Taylor Swift sex tape. or to find out that Taylor is really a transsexual male or wants to be, like a reverse-Caitlyn Jenner (which wouldn’t exactly shock us that much these days). or that Taylor does cocaine-laced blow bangs with her male dancers after every show. Something. Not because we wish “bad” on anyone, but because we hate the superficial facade that we feel she represents. It’s just all so fake. But today we found reasons to at least not dislike Taylor so much, for a moment. And that’s really what it’s about folks, finding common ground. We found ours with Taylor’s recent Instagram post of her legs spread in shot that gave us chills, in both a good and bad way. If this is the best Taylor can do for the moment, we’ll take it. But we’re still waiting for the blow bang revelation.

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MILEY CYRUS ASKS HOW TITTIES ARE WORSE THAN GUNS?

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Miley Cyrus may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but she ain’t stupid neither. The girl has been a leading face for nipple equality and nudity in general. Not to mention she can carry a tune. Now she may not be all that pretty, but even in that she is rather astute. A hot girl leading the nudity charge is not likely to be taken seriously, and is likely to be perceived as a threat not a liberator. An ugly girl, like Miley, well, she’s a trail blazer, as ugly girls often are (pretty girls are too busy being trophy wives and pounding out babies with the high school quarterback). Miley even took the fight to Taylor Swift, saying in a recent Marie Claire interview, referring to Taylor’s “Bad Blood” video (cause hating on Taylor is so easy), “I don’t get the violence revenge thing. That’s supposed to be a good example? And I’m a bad role model because I’m running around with my titties out? I’m not sure how titties are worse than guns.” Titties are not worse than guns, Miley. You are quite right. So keep brandishing those titties until the world understands.

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HACKERS CLAIM THEY’VE GOT NUDE TAYLOR SWIFT PICTURES; TAYLOR SAYS “YOU GOT NOTHING”

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Developing news is that hackers are claiming they have nude pictures of Taylor Swift. That would be a huge coup, no doubt. But like the Iggy Azalea sex tape threats, we are cautious and suspicious. Taylor has already called bullshit, saying “PS any hackers saying they have ‘nudes’? Psssh you’d love that wouldn’t you! Have fun photoshopping cause you got NOTHING.” Hackers did take over her twitter and Instagram accounts, telling her 50 million plus followers to follow @lizzard and @veriuser, members of the Lizard Squad. The Lizard Squad claims they are responsible for North Korea’s Internet shutdown, and apparently took down the entire PlayStation and Xbox Live gaming networks. They were also reportedly responsible for Monday evening’s temporary Facebook and Instagram issues. The two accounts, @lizzard and @veriuser, which have now been suspended, claim to have nude photos of Taylor, which they would release for a small payment in Bitcoin. At this point, we’ll just have to wait and see, and just enjoy the Photoshop fakes, of which there may be more (or maybe real ones).

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TAYLOR SWIFT WITH LOVE FROM MAUI

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We are far from fans of Taylor Swift, but we have to admit this was one hot group picture of Taylor and her girl pack in bikinis in Maui.

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