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UKRAINIAN GIRL TWERKING ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD CAUSED A GRUESOME ACCIDENT, AND YES, IT’S ON YOUTUBE

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Thanks to the YouTube, the world is much smaller. Dumb shit going on in Ukraine, which you would never ever likely hear about is as accessible as dumb shit happening on your own block. That’s the wonder of modern technology. The dumb shit happening in Ukraine today is a not too attractive brunette girl, who decided to twerk her ass on the side of a road, and as you might expect, drivers noticed, and as you might expect (cause it made in on YouTube), she caused an accident. That is a bit of an understatement. She caused a gruesome head on collision. The girl stops twerking for a minute to cheer to an oncoming motorcyclist to get his attention. He looks, and crashing into an oncoming BMW from the other direction, who also seems to have been looking at the girl on the side of the road. The motorcycle catapults the rider into the air and his body lands a few steps away from the girls on the side of the road (camera still rolling). The biker survived, but with a broken pelvis and leg. And that’s the dumb shit happening in Ukraine. And you can watch it just like you were there.

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WEEKEND EDITION: “MR. PROBLEM SOLVER” IS JUST ONE CONTINUOUS ASS TWERK VIDEO

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Nino Brown’s YouTube page provides “motivation and inspiration for the people that understand me.” Nino’s video “Mr. Problem Solver” we understand, because it is just one long ass twerk video with three girls, who you almost only ever see from behind. It is Nino’s most watched video by far with over 1 million videos. If you understand, it might just be motivation and inspiration for you too.

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SAPPHIRE IN LAS VEGAS IS CALLING ALL BOOTY TWERKERS FOR ITS U.S.A. TWERKING CHAMPIONSHIPS

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Porn star Alexis Texas, famous for her Texas-sized booty, is hosting Sapphire’s U.S.A. Twerking Championships, an Official AVN Event put on by Twerk Cup and U.S.A. Twerking LLC, during AVN week in Las Vegas. They are seeking to crown the best twerker in the United States. That crown comes with a grand prize of $3,000 cash. Second-place is $1,500 and third is $500. The entry fee is $66, which includes entry into the competition and two drink tickets (to help you get your twerk on). Twerk Cup and U.S.A. Twerking, LLC. Company’s mission is to build a nonprofit foundation in 2017 and use recreational sports activities as the conduit for fund-raising. This should be a fun night, and since we are covering the AVN Awards, we will be in Las Vegas and covering the championships.

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JENNIFER LOPEZ PUTS HER ASS ON THE LINE FOR HILLARY CLINTON, LITERALLY

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Add Jennifer Lopez to the list of celebrity offering their body for Hillary Clinton. Jennifer was in Miami, Florida on Saturday at a rally to perform and formally endorse Hillary Clinton for president. “Now I’m getting excited,” Jennifer yelled to the crowd. “Because we about to have… our first woman president!” She then performed “Respect” and “Let’s Get Loud,” pushing out and shaking her ass for the presidential candidate. “You know we’re at a crossroads,” she said. “And we have to take the right road to the future. And we have the perfect person to take us there, and it is my honor to introduce you to her tonight.” Jennifer then introduced Clinton as “the next and first female president of the United States.” That is, until the FBI and Department of Justice arrest Hillary and indict her over her email server scandal. It will have been good while it lasted. But it’s not a Clinton presidency if it doesn’t end in impeachment.

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MALIA OBAMA TWERKED THE FUCK OUT OF A GAURD RAIL POLE AT LOLLAPALOOZA, AND ACCORDING TO CHRIS ROCK, BARRACK FAILED AS A FATHER

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Chris Rock said it best, with his daughter, “My only job in life is to keep her off the pole!” President Barrack Obama’s daughter Malia is now 18, and maybe it is hard to judge him on his parenting, since he has been managing the entire free world for the last 8 years, and at the very least things haven’t gone to complete shit. But as far as keeping Malia off the pole, that didn’t happen. She was spotted at Lollapalooza grinding up against a guard rail pole. A number of fathers have done worse.

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TEACHER TWERKS HER ASS OFF ON VACATION, VIDEO GOES VIRAL, TEACHER GETS FIRED

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We feel the need to call bullshit on the parents at the Cumbre del Noroeste Institute in Ciudad Obregon, a school in Obregon, Mexico, for pressuring the school to fire one of the teachers, after a video of her twerking her ass off while on vacation, went viral, viral like almost 1,000,000 views. The teacher, only identified as Miss Clarissa said, “The situation got out of control and even before I got back from holiday it was becoming a problem on social media.” Apparently, “Someone identified me a teacher as the video reached more and more people and immediately related it to my work and published photos of me with my pupils.” Miss Clarissa obviously feels (justifiably) slighted by the dismissal, saying “I knew there were mobile phones but I never imagined this would go viral and anyway, I’m not doing anything bad,” and “It’s not something to be afraid of, I’m not naked, I’m not having sex or taking drugs or disrespecting anyone.” She added, “It was a dance competition, something like this doesn’t define me as a person,” and that her employers should “get with the 21st century.”

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Sadly, the parents weren’t with it. Neither was the school. “They didn’t give me any other option at my school than to resign. I felt I was being attacked and put under pressure. I didn’t know what else to do apart from leave as quickly as I could. I’m a human being like everyone else and at time people believe your profession defines you and you don’t have a life outside of your job, that you don’t have friends or family or free time,” Miss Clarissa said. We feel it was bullshit, cause Miss Clarissa had so much to teach young girls who weren’t going to be doctors or lawyers and have to get by in this life on their ability to shake their asses. Don’t hate. Don’t get mad. That’s just the world we live in.



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LEXY PANTERRA IS TWERKING HER ASS OFF

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Lexy Panterra continues to force us to talk about a topic we hate. Hate is a strong word, but we really hate twerking. We hate the name. We hate the social circus it has become, taking a status almost akin to the Macarena. But Lexy’s ass is so, so powerful we just can ignore an ass shaking video this hot. Twerk it, girl.

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GET REAL NASTY

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You’ve heard plenty about the Russian twerk dance studio, Fraules. They’ve produced a gaggle of fuckin’ hot twerking videos, because, in third world Russia, twerking and Justin Bieber are just making it past the censors, as Russian youth desperately cling to anything American pop culture related. Cold war rhetoric aside, the Fraules girls are true artists. This is their most recent production, according to their booty queen bee Elena, is “NEW NEW NEW! twerk choreo with begginers of Fraules dance centre! just 8 hours of classes and here is a result))))”.

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PRETTI SICILY IS THE QUEEN OF THE SLOW MOTION ASS TWERK

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We have seen a shit ton of twerking videos. Pretti Sicily owns them all. In addition to being a gorgeously hot blonde with an incredible ass, her slow motion twerk control is beyond belief. We have to believe that YouTube was made for the sole purpose of seeing Pretti Sicily twerk her ass. She just recently put up her page this summer, so there are only a few videos, but she promises more. Suffice it to say, we’re down with #TeamPretti.

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MOTORCYLE TWERKING, AND SINCE WHEN DID TWERKING BECOME A DAREDEVIL SPORT?

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Twerking had to evolve for anyone to continue to take notice. People said rap was a fad back in the 80s, but it evolved and it continues to shape music and culture some 35 years later. Whether twerking fades or becomes a permanent staple of our culture will depend on its evolution as well. And we recently got a glimpse of its next stage of evolution. Motorcycle twerking. Put twerking to work in places where it has no Godly business. We are not endorsing getting on a motorcycle with a camera and twerking at high speeds. Frankly, we thing this is the dumbest thing you could possibly do. But it is evolution, which to us signals the potential survival of twerking as an entertainment form. Yes, there will be horribly wrong twists of evolutionary fate. Motorcycle twerking is probably a good example. But twerking as a species of ass performance may still survive. This is what Darwin was talking about, people. The evolution of ass twerking.

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MORE TWERK FROM MISS IVY JEAN……DAMN

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We’ve caught a bit of a twerking bug, and it is in part because of Miss Ivy Jean. Watching her is inspirational.

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TWERK, TWERK, TWERK THAT ASS GIRL…..JUST NOT AT CITY HALL

Stop us if you’ve heard this one, three friends go to city hall in Beaverton, Oregon, to pay a fine for a warrent, Coura Valazquez, Brittany Medak and Leokham Yothsombath. After paying the fine, and in an apparent protest, Coura and Brittany start twerking outside city hall next to the windows, and according to police, exposing themselves to onlooking government officials. Coura also decides she needs to pee, so she cops a squat in between two cars and goes. They all leave in the same car, only to be pulled over by police a few blocks later, who during a search find cocaine, methamphetamine and marijuana. Charges: drug possession, disorderly conduct and offensive littering (that was cause of the peeing). Seeking to set the record straight, Leokham went to Facbook to say, “FYI it was not methephetamin it was MOLLY that was obviously cut … Geez the news likes to overxacgerate… lol Don’t bother texting or calling my phone they took that away from me. (SIC)” Not meth, but yes there was coke and weed, and ectasy.

[Explicit Video: Cameron Dee, Golf Lesson on Brazzers]


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