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IT JUST LOOKS LIKE KIM KARDASHIAN’S PUSSY IS SHOWING

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Ocean’s Eight will hit theaters on June 8, 2018. In it, we hope we will see a Met Gala scene that Kim Kardashian, 36, was recently reshooting, in downtown Los Angeles, in a sheer gown (the same she wore in mid-January), that appears to show her pussy, but alas, it is just a nude colored body sheer. The film is an all female version of the all male Ocean’s trilogy, starring Cate Blanchett, Rihanna, Sandra Bullock, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway, Sarah Paulson, and Mindy Kaling. The Met Gala scene is said to include Kim (obviously), her sister Kendall Jenner, and Olivia Munn, Zayn Malik, Hailey Baldwin, Maria Sharapova, and Katie Holmes. That all still is dwarfed by the prospect of Kim’s pussy being part of the scene. But not this time around.

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PORNSTARS DESCRIBE THEIR VAGINA

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Why you would ever need to ask a porn star to describe her vagina is beyond us. We’ve all seen them many, many, many times before. We know what each and every one of them looks like. But WoodRocket.com asked porn stars Brooklyn Chase, Alison Rey, Mocha Menage, Rizzo Ford, Jamine Webb, Aubrey Sinclair, Cassandra Cain, Lily Lane, Leya Falcon, Piper Perri, Amarna Miller, Charlotte Sartre, Abella Danger, Bobbi Dylan, Bella Doll, Jessie Lynne, Georgia Jones, Riley Reid, Harmony Cage, Cherie DeVille, and Riley Reyes to describe their vagina. The answers were actually kind of interesting. Brooklyn Chase said, “My vagina looks like Homer Simpson’s mouth.” Piper Perri described her pussy as “Turkey sandwich, all bun, hold the mayo.” And then words like “wet,” “tight” and “small” were thrown around a lot, like a lot. The best answer came from Riley Reyes, who said, “My vagina, like, like most vaginas, is framed by outer labia, and then there’s innie, inner labia, there kinda like this little pink ruffle dealie, and at the top there’s my clit, and ahh, then inside, I guess that’s the vulva, inside is the vagina, which is an awesome, wet, pink place where I like to put as many dicks as I can.” Riley Reyes, ladies and gentlemen.

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VAGINA IS NOW A VERB, BECAUSE ANNA KENDRICK SAID SO

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All it takes is for one white girl to utter a phrase and it is a national obsession. Cash us outside, howbout dat. We rest our case. Now it seems, vaginaing will soon be on its way to inclusion in the dictionary, after Anna Kendrick introduced it to the world, though she gives credit to another white girl for saying it. Anna explained on “Late Night with Seth Meyers,” that during shooting for her upcoming film, “There was a scene in the first week of shooting, [the director] came in and she was trying to get one of the characters to kinda do like a kinda lewd body movement, and she was like, ‘So I think, you know, you’re just over here and you’re just like vaginaing on the couch.’ And I didn’t know that vagina could be a verb.” Anna also demonstrated the movement, vaginaing on the couch for Seth. And that’s how that shit starts. Cash us outside!

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SORAJA VUCELIC BARE ASS BENDING OVER AND SLIGHTLY NOTICEABLE PUSSY

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Soraja Vucelic, 28, is a former Serbian Playboy Playmate, and Playmate of The Year in 2011. She is supposedly currently studying psychology in Belgrade, and dating Cengiz Siklaroglu, the CEO of Turkish defence company Silahsan Holding. She is also still modeling. She recently released pictures of her bare ass bending over and reaching into a Mercedes, in Serbia. So old habits die hard.

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SUBSTITUTE TEACHER LACEY SPONSLER DOES COMMANDO CARTWHEEL IN CHOIR CLASS, EXPOSES HER PUSSY TO ALL HER HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS

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Lacey Sponsler, 34, was a substitute teacher at Pawhuska High School in Pawhuska, Oklahoma. That is until she tried “just dancing with the students” and “trying to be a cool teacher,” by doing a cartwheel without wearing panties (going commando) and exposing her pussy to her entire class. According to police, she performed a cartwheel in a high school choir class “with no under garments on.” She was wearing a long dress, but no underwear, “which caused her to expose herself to the students in this class,” police claim. “This act was captured by a student on their cell phone,” said Police Chief Scott Laird. Lacey performed her indecent exposure in the “Junior High Choir room,” where he dress was “flipped up,” exposing her ass to the class, and an officer who reviewed the student video added, “I further noticed that the Defendant was not wearing any type of underwear.” The student snitch told Police that Lacey “had said that she was not wearing underwear before performing the cartwheel,” which exposed her “bare vagina.” The student said that she saw Lacey’s “vagina open and close, as her legs were in the air.” The snitch also said that Lacey “had been talking about using drugs” and commented on how she “thought fourteen year old boys were like men.” While Lacey initially denied it, when confronted with the video, she started to remember her performance, but said she “did not remember performing a cartwheel or exposing her vagina and buttocks.” And the teacher of the year award…does not go to Lacey Sponsler (pictured below left, the .gif is just a close approximation).

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50 CENT CONCERNED OVER STRIPPER WHO LIGHTS SPARKLER DANGLING FROM HER PUSSY, THROWS A FEW DOLLARS

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Rapper 50 Cent is a man who cares about women. He was somewhere in Philadelphia with a stripper naked on the floor with a lit sparkler dangling from her pussy. Someone of course captured the moment, which he promptly posted onto Instagram, saying, “When i saw this in Philly i said damn, what is going on? Oh no she is gonna burn it off. Lol look at my face.” And then he promptly followed up with, “The shit scared me, I started thinking is there any insurance or coverage for this. LMAO SMH baby you fuck that up its over.” This was interesting for two reasons. One, how 50 Cent got some stripper’s bare pussy, with a lit sparkler dangling from it no less, on Instagram is a pure fucking mystery. And two, last we heard 50 Cent didn’t have a cent to his name. So where did all the dollars beneath her pussy come from?

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HERE’S THAT CLOSER LOOK AT MARNIE SIMPSON’S PUSSY YOU’VE BEEN ASKING FOR, COURTESY OF MARNIE SIMPSON

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British reality celebrity Marnie Simpson, 25, went without panties in a sheer dress to the British National Television Awards. But Marnie knew exactly what she was doing, it was no wardrobe malfunction. She had a small black strip to cover just enough of her clitoris so you could see down pretty far, but not all the way to her goodie box. Marnie seemed quite pleased to show her goodies on the red carpet.

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RITA ORA NO PANTIES PUSSY UPSKIRT

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Everyone’s looking at Rita Ora’s pussy today, after she was caught with her panties down and bending over, for the perfect upskirt from behind, if you’re into that sort of thing and you liked Rita Ora (or at least Rita Ora’s pussy, and even if you didn’t “like” it, you still probably looked, because, pussy). She was on the streets of Rome filming for her new movie Wonderwell. Rita bent over to pull up her thigh-high boots, after getting out of a car, and her faux fur outfit rose up, putting her ass on full display. All of Rome and the rest of the world got a full view. And, on another note, Rita recently hit 11 million followers on Instagram, so there’s that too.

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WEEKEND EDITION: MADONNA URGES TRUMP PROTESTS WITH PICTURE OF NIKE’S “JUST DO IT” SWOOSH SHAVED INTO PUBES ON INSTAGRAM AND TWITTER

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It is not clear whether Madonna shaved a Nike swoosh into her pubic hair in the picture she posted to both her Instagram and Twitter accounts, saying, “Yasssssssss! Just Do it! @nakid_magazine 1 Million Women’s March!! Be There!! Washington D.C. Jan. 21,” referring to the anti-Trump women’s march in Washington, D.C., on January 21. She credited Marius Sperlich as the photographer of the picture set to appear in next month’s issue of Nekid magazine, presumably when we’ll know more about the pussy in question. Piers Morgan said “I just threw up my breakfast. Literally,” cause it seems the prospect of Madonna’s pussy was too much for his British sensibilities. Ann Coulter commented on Twitter, “Madonna vagina tattoo to protest Trump is not as silly as you think. More people will see that than CNN & MSNBC combined.” We agree. Using your pussy as a billboard does have a way of attracting more attention.

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PARIS HILTON TAKING HER PUSSY OUT FOR A WALK ON THE BEACH

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Paris Hilton, 35, was on the beach in a maxi dress, say news reports, when along came a gust a wind, and you know how this story goes. Paris either wasn’t wearing any panties or as it appears, whatever cover she was wearing was adjusted to the side, and end result, Paris’ pussy is now splashed all over the Blogosphere. Having seen much more compromising video and pictures of Paris, this new “wardrobe malfunction” of a much older Paris, isn’t all that scintillating. And since you have to squint or blow up the picture quite a bit to see much, and even then it isn’t much, we can’t call this all that earth shattering. But it is another look at Paris’ pussy on a relatively boring Friday. What else have you got to do? Perhaps it can serve as good office masturbation material. Perhaps.

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LAUREN BROWN NAKED FRUIT

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We have been looking for more about this shoot with Lauren Brown. We couldn’t any. But we couldn’t resist a woman who poses nude with fruit. We have been staring at Lauren naked trying to figure out the meaning behind squeezing a grapefruit over your tits and holding a cut open papaya over your pussy. Yes, the shape of the papaya mimics the shape of a vagina, but all the seeds look like an STD. So we didn’t exactly get it.

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CHISSY TEIGEN’S DRESS CUT JUST A BIT TOO HIGH, AND EXPOSED HER PUSSY AT THE AMAS

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Chrissy Teigen was just among a long list of celebrities ready to parade their vagina in front of the red carpet the American Music Awards. Though, we will say, Chrissy did it with some style, in black Yousef Akbar gown, with splits up to her ribcage. With splits that high, you know something is bound to pop up. Now, the design did have gold safety pins, intended to keep Chrissy’s pussy under wraps. But that rarely even happens. It’s a breeze, it’s a wardrobe malfunction, let’s be honest, it’s indecent exposure. Chrissy’s pussy got out. And social media had things to say, criticizing Chrissy as “unladylike” (the kinder version of “whore”). Chrissy took it in stride, and going with the play on words, responded, “I am pretty sure you could clearly see I’m a lady.” And, yes, you could. She later apologized-sh, offering on Instagram her “apologies to anyone harmed mentally or physically by my hooha” while also letting everyone know her “laser hair removal is @sevlaseraesthetics,” just in case you wanted a smooth pussy just like Chrissy.

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GIGI HADID WENT PUSSY OUT FOR THE AMAS

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The American Music Awards on Sunday were filled with half-naked celebrities vying for attention and publicity. Gigi Hadid was one of them, because of course she was co-hosting the ceremony with comedian Jay Pharoah. While Gigi couldn’t wear anything too revealing while on stage, for the red carpet she put everything out there. It was the only saving grace for Gigi, after her horrible Melania Trump impression that was widely panned as “bullying.” Her red carpet appearance, though, was an interesting twist on Donald Trump’s Access Hollywood debacle. Instead of “grab em by the pussy,” Gigi went with “show em your pussy.”

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NICKI MINAJ STROKES HER PUSSY ON NATIONAL TELEVISION AT THE AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS LAST NIGHT

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Whoa! Yup, last night Nicki Minaj, 33, stroked her pussy on national television. Damn! On Sunday night’s American Music Awards Nicki and Ariana Grande, 23, performed “Side to Side.” During the performance Nicki kicked her legs up in the air, while sitting back in a wicker chair, and did a dirty pussy stroke for the whole world to see. The whole song is a bit graphic. Ariana revealed in an interview with MTV News that “Side to Side” is about having so much sex that walking in a straight line becomes difficult. Nicki said, “That whole song is about riding leading to soreness. ‘Ride dick bicycle’ is the lyric, indeed.” Nicki didn’t have a dick on stage, but her hand sufficed. And she rode it enough to make people take notice. On Twitter user said, “So, @NICKIMINAJ not only spread her legs in the air, but she stroked her vag on LIVE TV. Did I see that right? Am I dreaming? #AMAs”. Another said, “What the f*** did I just watch #AMAs ? Nicki Minaj has no talent whatsoever. The fact that she opened her legs that wide disgusts me.” But not everyone threw shade. An enthusiastic fan said on Twitter, “@NICKIMINAJ WHEN YOUR LEGS FLEW UP, I FLEW UP!!!!!” And seriously, why wouldn’t you?

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IGGY AZALEA CLAIMS THE “BEST VAGINA IN THE WORLD,” SOMEHOW WE DOUBT IT

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White female rapper Iggy Azalea, 26, was crowned “Woman of the Year” at the GQ Australia Men of the Year Awards Wednesday. Iggy, apparently still working through a lot of insecurity after getting cheated on by ex-fiancee Nick Young, who was out banging hot basketball groupie pussy, claimed to the Daily Telegraph, “I’ve got the best vagina in the world,” after accepting her trophy. “I have won a lot of awards over the last few years but this one means the absolute most to me because I can finally say I have an award-winning vagina.” We could hardly make sense of this claim from Iggy, except to say prove it, Iggy.

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HAILEE STEINFELD’S PUSSY ON INSTAGRAM

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Actress Hailee Steinfeld, 19, pulled off one of the greatest pussy flashes of all time, putting her hooha all over Instagram. Now, you probably need to slow it down as we have in the .gif below and take a good look at a freeze frame screenshot, but we’re going with that there is pussy Hailee is showing in the middle of her twirl. She posted her dress twirl on Instagram, saying, “A night in @ralphandrusso for the #EdgeOf17 premiere last night…” We doubt she actually intended to pull off the greatest pussy flash of all time, but whatever was in her head, we can clearly see what’s underneath her dress. You can take a look at Hailee’s original Instagram post here.

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