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LOVE, ANASTASIYA SCHEGLOVA

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Anastasiya Scheglova is a Russian glamour model from Moscow, who recently appeared in Ellements magazine for its May 2017 edition. It was a sexy but only partially nude lingerie shoot that caught our eye. We were only today turned on to Anastasiya by one of our peers, from this shoot. So we went looking for more, of course. It was hard to get much information about her, because it is almost entirely in Russian. But we found a Reddit page devoted to her entire body of work, here, and the body is fairly large. We also found an extra video of Anastasiya in a video for the band Marriages, for its song “Love, Texas.” Correction: Love, Anastasiya.

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JORDAN CARVER GOES OUT ON TOP

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Jordan Carver has called it quits. She’s been a “glamour model” of sorts, but as far as we are aware only truly nude once. The rest has been implied nude work and more pinup or bikini style work. She was, well, still is, an impressive 32HH. But according to Boobpedia.com, because of recommended adjustments in suggested bra sizes, “her correct bra size is now almost certainly 30JJ.” Whatever the size of her tits, Jordan Carver has decided to retire, at age 31. She is like the boxer who goes out in his prime, rather than fighting until he is too punch drunk to stand (or in Jordan’s case until her tits sag to her knees and gravity forces her to get her implants removed). We agree that is the best way for anyone to go, while you are still on top and admired. Jordan made a video with different reasons, but the face remains, this is all we have left to remember Jordan by now.

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sCARV1





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ASTRID ERICCSON IN BLACK AND WHITE

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Astrid Ericsson, 26, is a Swedish model and soccer player. The 5’11” blonde did a video for Robin Raw in black and white, completely nude. We quickly became a fan of Astrid.

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sAST1







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SOPHIA BLAKE’S “MONDAY BLUES” IS OUR TURNT UP FRIDAY

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Apex Creations did this nude video with model Sophia Blake and called it “Monday Blues.” The music is slow, so it goes with the title. But Sophia is definitely not what we have in mind when we think of a blue Monday. She is our Motivation Friday. Week is almost done and it’s time to go the fuck out.

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PORN STAR CHERIE DEVILLE TEACHES OLD COUPLES HOW TO FUCK LIKE A PORN STAR

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We have to admit this video is like watching paint dry. It’s like watching porn, but without any tits, ass or sex. But it’s supposed to be educational, at least for a generation of geriatrics that are too conservative to just watch porn. But we are all about the educational, and watching paint dry can be a fucking amazing experience….on crystal meth (legal disclaimer: we do not endorse watching paint dry and doing crystal meth, we’re just saying). So this video from Trendzz and Brazzers brings “real moms together to learn complex positions such as the ‘Arc de Triomphe’, the ‘Piledriver’, and the ‘Erotic Accordion’ for Mother’s Day.” It features Brazzers “sexperts” Cherie DeVille and Charles Dera. And we warned you in advance…(but we added an extra couple nudes of Cherie to make this whole thing tolerable, that is, unless you are a conservative housewife who needs to learn a few things anyway).

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PORN STARS ARE NOT HAVING SEX WITH FANS, SO DREAMS CRUSHED

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WoodRocket.com killed the dream. The dream of meeting a porn star out in public or sliding into her DM, spitting game, and fucking your favorite porn star. And go from fan to the man. But fucking a porn star is likely way out of your reach, unless you play in the NBA, and you can fuck Lisa Ann silly. WoodRocket asked porn stars Riley Reid, Cassandra Cain, Aubrey Sinclair, Abella Danger, Piper Perri, Bella Doll, Riley Reyes, Harmony Cage, Leya Falcon, Mocha Menage, Bobbi Dylan, Alison Rey, Rizzo Ford, and Georgia Jones, “Have you had sex with a fan?” The uniform answer was: No. Mark it down in your calendar, May 11, 2017. The day hope died.

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“MASK OFF”

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We have mixed feeling about this “Mask Off” video from Creep Life Entertainment. It features four topless BBW women in masks, and one creepy masked dude. The women are all twerking or dancing, whatever you want to call it, gyrating. And the guy is feeling them up. It is sort of Spring Break-esque. But it is sort of off the mark. As we said, mixed feelings. But it’s a start.

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PORN STAR MOLLY CAVALLI BITTEN BY SHARK WHILE SHOOTING FOR CAMSODA

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Porn star and webcam model Molly Cavalli was shooting in a shark cage in shark infested waters in Florida for CamSoda. According to the company, “The underwater broadcast had to be cut short when Molly’s foot stuck out of the cage and was bitten by a lemon shark. Don’t worry though, Molly is doing just fine. She had to get 20 stitches but she is in good spirits and grateful for her quick recovery.” You don’t actually see the bite, but you do see the huge gash the shark took out of her ankle in the video on YouTube.

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MORE LEAKED WWE DIVAS, AS VICTORIA JOINS THE SEVEN SO FAR

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WWE Diva Victoria hasn’t worked in the WWE since 2009, moving to TNA and working independently and on Ring of Honor. But she is now the seventh WWE Diva to have naked pictures dropped in the seemingly never ending Fappening 2.0, after Paige, Summer Rae, Alexa Bliss, Charlotte Flair and ex-wrestlers Maria and Kaitlyn had nude pictures leaked. Victoria’s leaked pictures also come with a sex tape, with a doggie style cum shot and Victoria deep throating cock. We can only show the bathroom nude selfies, but it shouldn’t be too hard to Google and find the cum guzzling Diva’s video if you so desire.

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MONTANA FISHBURNE DUI ARREST VIDEO, CAUSE SHE PULLS UP HER DRESS AND PANTIES AND PEES ON THE HIGHWAY

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Actor Lawrence Fishburne has a daughter, Montana. She’d had problems. She briefly did porn. And now a video surfaced of her DUI arrest in Florida on I-95 on March 11, 2017, surfaced. According to reports, she was stopped after she rear-ended a Range Rover that had slowed down to avoid a previous accident at the same spot. And when the police began investigating the accident, they found an open bottle of wine in Montana’s car. She blew a .17 and a .18 on the breathalyzer, both double the legal limit in Florida. And while we aren’t ones to revel in someone’s public disgrace, Montana was so drunk that she pulled up her dress and her panties and peed on the highway, right then and there in front of the officers and on the video. It was too good to pass up.

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sVIV1



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OPUS IS THE PROPERTY YOU WISH YOU COULD AFFORD, SO THEY MADE A VIDEO

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OPUS is Beverly Hills’ most expensive property, for sale for $100 million. And when you’re gong for $100 million, you’re a baller. So you need a fucking ballin’ ass video to sell it. At least, that is what real estate firm Hilton & Hyland did, with a hree-minute video that is designed to show balling ass homeowners “a sneak peek into a life where the boundaries are limitless.” If you’re a baller, then OPUS is a 20,500-square-foot estate that features 7 bedrooms, 11 bathrooms, and according to an article in People, more that “a luxury buyer … couldn’t have dreamed up if they tried.” Ballin’ ass shit like a champagne vault that can hold 170 bottles of Cristal champagne (and a 944-bottle overflow room), a 10-car “museum” that comes with a Rolls and a Lamborghini, and a couple of swimming pools, a wellness center, and a salon. You don’t have to imagine the life, just watch the video.

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EUROPEAN CLUBS ROCK SHITTY TECHNO ALL NIGHT LONG, SO MICAELA SCHAFER WILL FIT RIGHT IN WITH HER NEW MUSIC VIDEO

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Nude model Micaela Schäfer decided to make a music video. It is shitty. Like really shitty. But Paris Hilton did it. And, most techno and house music is shitty too. But Europeans love it. We love Micaela as a nude model. You’ll never hear us utter a bad word about her as a model. But music really isn’t her thing. Though we wish her well.

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ORAL SEX DROID IS JUST ALL KINDS OF WHAT THE FUCK

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We have been debating whether this Arlan Robotics Service Droid 1.0 video is a joke. We feel like someone is going to jump out at any moment and tell us we’ve been punked. But with almost 1 million views, we can’t ignore this video of Arlan’s oral sex droid. It’s not really a “droid.” It looks like a a sheet metal step stool that moves, that somebody put a plastic female head on and a cover over. But they say it works. What the fuck? So many times over, what the fuck?

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NEW COMEDY TRAILER FOR “THE LITTLE HOURS” MAKES US THINK OF NUN PORN

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Alison Brie and Aubrey Plaza star in the comedy “The Little Hours,” about two nuns back in the day when women got sent to nunneries. The trailer is pretty funny, if you like Aubrey Plaza. But we could only think about nun porn throughout the entire trailer.

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WWE DIVA NAKED CELEBRATING 500,000 SUBSCRIBERS

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The WWE Bella Twins have a channel on YouTube, and it recently hit 500,000 subscribers. More money for them. So to celebrate, Nikki Bella got naked with John Cena. It was YouTube naked, so it was censored. But since Nikki has yet had a celebrity nude leak, it is about as close as you will get. And it’s close enough. And sorta funny.

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RICK ROSS’ VIDEO “SHE ON MY DICK” FEATURES STRIP CLUB ACTION

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Most guys walk into the strip club, pay a $20 cover, get a coke and get seated at the rail, likely with 10 singles that they will clutch most of the night, sparingly tipping the girl of their desire. Rick Ross has a video about his strip club experience, for his new song, “She On My Dick.” It starts with the owner of the strip club yelling, “We got a motherfuckin’ red alert in this bitch. We got Rick Rozay, we got Young Dolph, we got motherfuckin’ Guwop. Y’all ready to get this money?” If only we could rate such an introduction. But for the guys with $10 in singles, you just gotta watch the video.

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