Sinnandskin Blog

KENDALL JENNER CHEESY MARILYN MONROE, BECAUSE DOES IT REALLY MATTER?

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Kendall Jenner is a publicity juggernaut. It really doesn’t even matter what she does, no matter how cheesy and uninspired. You are just going to consume it anyway, like this recent shoot with Love magazine, as she channels Marilyn Monroe. If not for it being Kendall Jenner, it would be an utter waste of time. It is “SFW,” but somehow we feel it would still not be Kosher to sit around a computer with your buddies at work leering at Kendall and getting excited. We didn’t see that in the sexual harassment workbook, but we think it’s safe to say that SFW in this case is misleading.

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NICKI MINAJ TWER CELEBRATION FOR NEW BILLBOARD RECORD

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Fresh off breaking Aretha Franklin’s record for most Billboard Hot 100 hits by a female artist, with 76 hits, Nicki Minaj put out a twerk video. Nicki posted the video clip on her Instagram page, saying, “When u find out u just became the only woman in the history of billboard to have 76 Hot 100 billboard entries”. She twerked it out in a bright red latex dress, and lace-up gladiator heels. Go ahead, Nicki!



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THE MOST SEXUALLY DISEASED STATES IN THE UNITED STATES, ALAKSA WE’RE LOOKING AT YOU

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Alaska is the most sexually diseased state in the United States, followed by Louisiana and North Carolina, according to Jimmy Kimmel. So now you know where not to go for spring break. Cause that one-night stand is likely going to end with a shot of penicillin if you do. Here’s the full break-down of the ranking of each state. Congratulations to New Hampshire, coming in last.

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HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED PORN AT WORK

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Don’t lie. Don’t lie. You’ve watched at least some porn at work. In light of a recent federal report about federal employees caught watching porn, Jimmy Kimmel hit the streets to ask. “According to an investigation done by the NBC News team in Washington D.C., almost 100 federal employees—these are people who work for the government—have either been caught or admitted to watching pornography at work,” Jimmy said. “I don’t know, 100 seems low actually to me. One federal worker, though, admitted to spending six hours a day looking at images and videos.” Another federal worker, Kimmel added, admitted to watching basically 31 eight-hour workdays watching porn. Here is what people said on the streets.

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ELAVE’S 36 MILLION VIEW NOTHING TO HIDE WEB SKIN COMMERCIAL

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Elave is an Irish skin cream company that put out a YouTube commercial for a campaign called “Nothing to Hide.” Model Tyler-Jane Mitchel is fully nude throughout the entire commercial. It has 36 million views on YouTube since being posted two years ago. If you haven’t seen it, then it’s news to you, and you’ll wonder how on earth you missed this one. We felt the need to give it another go.

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SAMANTHA GRADOVILLE AND FLAVIA LUCINI ARE FUCKING HOT, FUCKING HOT

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Samantha Gradoville and Flavia Lucini covered Lui magazine, and it was definitely one of the hottest shoots for the magazine, even though shot in the cold of New York. It was called “Comme des Garçons,” which is French for “like boys.” The model duo also created a video wearing almost nothing throughout the entire vide, despite the winter temperatures. We need not say much more, Samantha and Flavia leave us speechless anyway.

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WHO SAID IT: TRUMP OR PORN? IT’S ACTUALLY HARDER THAN YOU THINK…

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We all know that the president of the United States has said some things that were a few notches short of hitting the politically correct benchmark. Some of it was downright lewd. Grab ’em by the pussy comes to mind. But when you put all the un-P.C. things he’s said together and compare them against a few select porn quotes, asking New Yorkers if you can tell the different, it gets pretty shameful. But the silver lining is, against the president, everyone can stand a little bit taller and more respectable. Cause who among us has ever mocked a disabled guy in public? (We know a large number of you have done it is public.) That’s pretty bad.

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PORNSTARS DESCRIBE THEIR VAGINA

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Why you would ever need to ask a porn star to describe her vagina is beyond us. We’ve all seen them many, many, many times before. We know what each and every one of them looks like. But WoodRocket.com asked porn stars Brooklyn Chase, Alison Rey, Mocha Menage, Rizzo Ford, Jamine Webb, Aubrey Sinclair, Cassandra Cain, Lily Lane, Leya Falcon, Piper Perri, Amarna Miller, Charlotte Sartre, Abella Danger, Bobbi Dylan, Bella Doll, Jessie Lynne, Georgia Jones, Riley Reid, Harmony Cage, Cherie DeVille, and Riley Reyes to describe their vagina. The answers were actually kind of interesting. Brooklyn Chase said, “My vagina looks like Homer Simpson’s mouth.” Piper Perri described her pussy as “Turkey sandwich, all bun, hold the mayo.” And then words like “wet,” “tight” and “small” were thrown around a lot, like a lot. The best answer came from Riley Reyes, who said, “My vagina, like, like most vaginas, is framed by outer labia, and then there’s innie, inner labia, there kinda like this little pink ruffle dealie, and at the top there’s my clit, and ahh, then inside, I guess that’s the vulva, inside is the vagina, which is an awesome, wet, pink place where I like to put as many dicks as I can.” Riley Reyes, ladies and gentlemen.

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VAGINA IS NOW A VERB, BECAUSE ANNA KENDRICK SAID SO

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All it takes is for one white girl to utter a phrase and it is a national obsession. Cash us outside, howbout dat. We rest our case. Now it seems, vaginaing will soon be on its way to inclusion in the dictionary, after Anna Kendrick introduced it to the world, though she gives credit to another white girl for saying it. Anna explained on “Late Night with Seth Meyers,” that during shooting for her upcoming film, “There was a scene in the first week of shooting, [the director] came in and she was trying to get one of the characters to kinda do like a kinda lewd body movement, and she was like, ‘So I think, you know, you’re just over here and you’re just like vaginaing on the couch.’ And I didn’t know that vagina could be a verb.” Anna also demonstrated the movement, vaginaing on the couch for Seth. And that’s how that shit starts. Cash us outside!

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IVY NIRVANA IS PRETTY IN KINK

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So we had featured another model with this post (Mackenzie Katrianna, mainly because of her exceptional profile quote, “I love when you get so so Hard”), but Mackenzie decided to take down all of her videos after only a day’s worth of attention. We take it as a slap in the face. So we looked at what was new and found Ivy Nirvana doing a bit of kinky lingerie modeling. Our collective view is that whenever a girl poses with an anal butt plug pony tail, it is worthy of mention. The video is a little slower than we would have liked, but we figure there is something about the thrill of anticipation they were trying to capture.

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HENTAI STYLE BLONDE STRIPTEASE

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We felt a little risqué today, so we bit on this video, “Miki-Splashfree,” which is a Hentai style striptease, featuring a blonde that looks barely legal dancing around a stage naked as God made her (well, in this instance naked as her cartoonist made her). We always cringe at Hentai because it is so close to pedophile porn. But it is legal. And a shit ton of you love it, and as we said, we were feeling a bit caution to the wind to today. So fuck it.

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MISS BLISS – GOOD GIRL

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Good girls can still be kinky. And we were feeling like kink was an itch we hadn’t scratched in a while, and felt a little itchy. We looked to Miss Bliss and DarkShibari, who released a series of videos recently. As to this new one, “Good Girl,” they said, “Good girls don’t tempt and tease. Don’t allow their nudity to escape into indecency. Good girls behave until they stop doing so.” Our favorite type of good girl is one who gets naked, so it all worked. And we added an extra from DarkShibari, cause, Mondays get us all into a dark and ready to bind and whip a submissive mood.

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THE DIRTY POLAROIDS

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Ivy Nirvana is an L.A-based “Bondage Barbie.” We happened upon her Vimeo video with Rico J Coria, and we thought, damn that’s hot. So why not share? We could only find Ivy’s Instagram page, which is relatively new, only a couple months old. So it appears Ivy is new to the game, but already making hot nude videos with dirty polaroids. We see a bright future for Ivy.

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“MAKE PORN GREAT AGAIN,” XHAMSTER AUDITIONS DONALD TRUMP PORN STARS

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And then there were three. Donald Trump has inspired many things in his few short weeks as President of the United States, including a resurgence of Trump porn. xHamster is riding the wave of that resurgence and plans to ride it for the next four years, with an open casting call for Donald Trump porn star impersonators for a series of Donald Trump parody porn. They’ve been hunting for candidates with “unique hair,” “small hands” and “the ability to make incredible deals, and bring the HUGE-ness (or ‘YUGE’ in the parlance of Trump) of the president-elect to the small screens and tablets of our consumers” since November, receiving “many” submissions, which have been narrowed down to three. Their video auditions have been posted onto xHamster’s YouTube channel. And now xHamster users are being asked to vote for their favorite of the final three, the winner to be announced during the first 100 days of Trump ‘s presidency. The candidates sure do have the president down. One said in his video, “I’m here to tell you that I don’t lose. Okay, I’m not gonna lose.” And then asks, “Is this the face of a loser,” while holding a Hilary Clinton doll. Another said, “Yeah, we’re going out tonight”, pointing towards a Melania Trump doppelganger, “I’m gonna be with this pig, horrible woman, but we’re gonna do our best!”

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xHamster spokesperson Alex Hawkins said, “The Trump transition has been turbulent for all of us. We apologise for the delay in getting out this request. There is nothing more that the American public needs that quality adult content parodies to help them understand that ever shifting landscape of their Executive Branch of government.” About the final choice, xHamster said, “this performer would need to be in the ‘best health of any actor to do porn’, to have even more in common with the President-elect, whose own physician said that Trump is the ‘healthiest person to run for President in history.’ The ability to harness both Trump’s complete understanding of all issues without any actual knowledge of an issue, is also an optional trait.” xHamster is also casting a Trump cabinet, Trump family, and Trump Supreme Court nominations. The winner of the Donald Trump casting gets his own Twitter handle, @TheRealxHDonaldTrump. So who will it be?







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SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST: KITTENS STRIP CLUB DOES MANNEQUIN CHALLENGE

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Kittens is a strip club in Australia. And apparently the #MannequinChallenge only recently made it’s way down under, as Kittens just released their own mannequin challenge at the club, chock full of strippers hanging from poles, legs spread and asses in the air. We would ordinarily be inclined to talk shit about someone so late on the social media wave, but talent is talent. And the Kitten girls have talent.

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PURE NUDE YOGA YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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Pure Nude Yoga is a YouTube channel, devoted to featuring nude yoginis, at least fully nude previews, so they can direct you to their pay channel on Vimeo. They’ve been dropping preview nude Yoga videos on YouTube at the rate of about one every three months. The most recent is with Katarina Keen, who they describe as “amazingly graceful and flexible, as she slowly demonstrates a progression of classic yoga positions, starting out on basic forms and moving toward more intermediate poses. Just watching her move through the poses with her mane of striking blonde hair and deep blue eyes is inspiring and relaxing. Yogini Katarina has been an avid yoga practitioner in a variety of yoga disciplines for several years, including Hatha Yoga, Iyengar, Power Yoga, as well as Ashtanga Yoga.” We watched a few of the videos, and already fell less stressed and relieved.

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