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PORN STARS ANGELINA CASTRO AND MAGGIE GREEN NOW OFFERING CONSOLATION BLOWJOBS TO EASE THE PAIN OF THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION RESULTS

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Porn stars Angelina Castro and Maggie Green promised to give all their Twitter followers blowjobs if Hillary Clinton won the election. Hillary failed. So sadly no mass blowjobs (affectionately known as a “blowbang”) are going out from #TeamBJ this year. But the porn stars would not be denied their opportunity to blow some random fans. Now as a consolation, they are offering blowjobs, but only two, one to a Trump voter and one to an anyone-but-Trump voter (meaning you could have thrown away your vote on Gary Johnson or Jill Stein, or some other nobody candidate or write-in and still get a blowjob). To qualify, fans must follow both Angelina Castro and Maggie Green on Twitter, must have voted and must tweet the girls telling why they should be selected for a blowjob. The girls will reveal the lucky blowjobees on TeamBJ.com.

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Reacting to the election, Angelina said, “I was really shocked when Trump won the election. Maggie and I absolutely planned on giving all our followers BJs if he lost. The country is completely divided. What better way to bring everyone together than with a BJ to both sides. I think we can bring even the most ardent Trump and Clinton supporters together with a BJ. I guarantee they won’t leave angry.” She added, however, “I am a citizen but Trump still might deport me when he gets in office for being too Cuban…. Hopefully he doesn’t revoke my papers by executive order!” Maggie said, “I was on the edge of my seat election night and was super bummed when Trump won. Our followers were incredibly disappointed. We still want to put a smile on the voters’ faces. There’s so much division in the country it would be nice to see people who don’t see eye to eye… get off together.” Angelina and Maggie explained further in this video:



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“SAVE THE BOOBS” BY WATCHING FREE PORN

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It’s hard not to talk about Pornhub when talking about porn, since it’s parent company has all but taken over the industry with pirated porn. Porn stars hate it. Porn fans love it. And here’s more to love, as Breast Cancer Awareness month kicks off. Pornhub is inviting porn aficionados to watch more porn as part of its “Save the Boobs” campaign, cause really, where would porn be without boobs? “The campaign, which will conceptually mirror its previous iteration, is seeking clicks and video views from users around the globe in their ‘Big Tits’ and ‘Small Tits’ categories to raise funds for breast cancer research. Pornhub will be donating – to a yet unnamed charity – 1 cent for every 30 views in the aforementioned categories,” Pornhub said. “The ‘Save the Boobs’ page will keep track of the total unique visits for the month, and can be viewed in real time on the aforementioned landing page.” And that’s not all. Pornhub has commissioned adult actress, and former Penthouse Pet of the Month, Dani Daniels to act as the face of the campaign, as well as an educator to those who visit the campaign’s landing page. That’s all. “We’re very excited to be bringing back the ‘Save the Boobs’ campaign, especially given the success it saw during its previous iterations,” said Corey Price, Vice President, Pornhub. “Our efforts yielded a sizeable donation that our recipient charities were able to genuinely use for a good cause. Supporting breast cancer research is something that we care deeply about, and we know our users feel the same way. With their help we can continue our fight against breast cancer in a fun, but positive way.” How noble. Porn cares. And so do porn fans. So far, in just half a day, you’ve viewed 2,751,582 boob videos.

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WHEN PORN GOES ULTRA KINK, JUST ASK A PORN STAR

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If you think you know kink, you may want to test your experiences against porn stars when they go ultra kink. In this episode of Ask A Porn Star, WoodRocket asked porn stars: what is the kinkiest thing you have done in porn? And, you really, really may not want to know. Take one example, Mona Wales describes a scene: “I’m kind of well known for farting glitter. It’s one of my favorite scenes. And I played up a gassy girl, and it was my birthday and nobody wanted to come cause I fart all of the time. And then I called my grandma and I farted on her, and my boyfriend and I farted on him. And then I stuck the little like kazoos, you know the party favors, up my ass and spooted them out. And then stuck glitter in my asshole and then farted that out.” Proceed with caution. You can’t unhear what you are about to hear.

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BASS MASTER DARCIE ARAHILL ALSO A BIKINI ASS MASTER, AND FISHING VIDEOS JUST GOT MORE INTERESTING

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If you have ever watched a fishing show, wait, why in the hell would you watch a fishing show? Most are on the edge of Broke Back Mountain, a bunch of guys no women, doing supposedly “guy” stuff, with a weirdly subtle homosexual vibe behind the scenes. We’re not exactly knocking fishing or being gay and going fishing with your gay assmates; it’s all good in our book, we’re just saying it’s not exactly our thing, and that fishing could probably use an overhaul. Well, at least one hot female angler agreed. Darcie Arahill, who posts her fishing videos in her bikini, with hot pictures to Instagram, caught our eye. Hot Body. Pretty blonde. Fishing action. The fishing show just returned to social media relevance. Darcie, you deserve applause. While many guys are fapping to you, we’ll take a break, to clap for you. Well done. We’re hooked.

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